Authority Essay

The house lights are down, but the stage lights are dancing. People are yelling, singing, holding up their arms. Words crawl across the screen as the drumbeat pulls them along. Everyone enjoys the guitar, the singing, and the words they share as they stand and sway with the song. There are those that are uncomfortable with all of it, but most enjoy the lights playing across their faces. The room is full of energy, full of the crowd’s cheerful song; yet here I sit, crying and scared.

It was less than ten minutes before that I had no idea where my life was going. Sitting here on the beach all week, I had been searching for answers; always looking for something more to help me along. I had never dreamed I would actually find answers here. This retreat, this gathering of people, seemed at first to be just pure fun. Honestly, I had come here for all the wrong reasons. I came for the friends, the beach, the ocean, but thought little of the reason we were here. And now as I sit amongst two thousand people, seemingly the only one crying, I know how real it all is.

While I have always been a praying man, I had never seen much to let me know that anyone was listening to me. I had believed in Jesus and what he did for us for a while, but it seemed to be a small part of my life. Whatever brought me to the beach and this retreat I know was for one purpose, for God to show me where my life is headed. Amongst all of these friends, I have experienced the reality of God and know the part he will be playing in my life. Though I am scared of the future that I see in front of me, my fear comes from the joy and realness of my path. The dangers and uncertainty of my life do little to frighten me.

It is the summer before my senior year and my life is full of uncertainty. Although I am excited about finishing high school, I had no idea of where my life was headed before I came to this camp. BigStuf is a weekly summer camp at a hotel in Panama City Beach. Each week, two thousand people gather here to learn about Jesus, worship, and enjoy the community we have with each other. The group meets in a large ballroom that can accommodate us all with a nice stage. Today, Thursday, we finished the night with a long worship set. As I walked into the ballroom an hour ago for worship, I had no idea that my life was about to change.

During the worship set, I started to pray. I do not know why then and there, but I began to pray that God would help me know what to do with my life. Wanting to know where my life was going, I asked for something that would help direct my path. As soon as I finished my prayer and brought my attention back to the worship music, the band hit the bridge of the song they were on. The words come floating out across our heads, “my soul, my soul must sing”. Over and over they repeat, and even though I am not singing, it sounds as if I am shouting these words. As that song comes to an end, the next one begins immediately. “Tell the world that Jesus lives, tell the world that, tell the world that, tell the world that he died for them, tell the world that he rose again.” Again it doesn’t sound like the singer’s voice, but rather a different, tender and soothing voice. As I hear this, I know it is God speaking to me through the music, showing me where my life is headed: ministry.

I realize this instantly. God’s presence is so overwhelming I do not doubt for a second that he is here with me. The comfort and familiarity could have come form no one else. As the song goes on, I start putting things together in my head. “Ok, I am supposed to go into ministry and it seems it might have something to do with music. But I am a terrible singer! And how am I supposed to eventually support a family on a minister’s salary? What are my parents going to think about this? They want me to go into architecture or engineering. And college? There is nowhere other than Georgia Tech that I want to go. What am I suppose to study at a technical school that will help me in ministry?”

As these fears jump around my head, the next song begins. Again it is the soothing voice of God I hear. Never before that week had the song started with the last line of the chorus. “It’s going to be all right!” Repeated five times, six times, seven times, I loss count of how many times I hear those tender words spoken into my heart. No longer can I stand here. I collapse into my chair, crying harder than I ever have before. Feeling God’s presence, I know he is one hundred percent real.

I cry with the joy that comes from knowing where my life is headed. I sit scared, not knowing exactly where this path will take me. I am happy to see everyone here put their differences aside, but I am sad knowing that the rest of the world isn’t like this. All these emotions overwhelm me since I know I will be a part of all that is around me. Although I’ll have hard times, his comfort and protection will always be with me as I work for him.

BigStuf is something special; a camp that has changed my life. It isn’t a concert. It isn’t a rally. To the random drifter that walked in, it would seem to be nothing more than a band on a stage, but everyone here knows what we are doing. Two thousand people packed in to one hotel ballroom, learning about and worshiping our God we love. Every one from Catholics to Lutherans, Baptists to Methodists, all sharing the same experience as it should be. For a group of people that share so much in common, it is not everyday that you can bring the things that really matter into view. This week has given us the chance to put aside our small differences and focus on God and his son. One day, I pray the rest of the world can share the same type of community.

Bio:

Kevin Dalton was born in Pittsburgh, PA but now lives in Roswell, GA. He is finishing his first year at Georgia Tech. Kevin is majoring in Management and plans to one day go through seminary and be a minister.